25 March 2011

First Year

The past few weeks have been crazy. With midterms left and right I never left the study room on the floor and then midterms ended and less then favourable results from those midterms started to come back. Then panic sunk in finals are only 2 weeks away and I am in no way shape or form ready for them. Nor am I ready to leave this place in 5 short weeks. This past year has flown by and I worry that I did not get everything that I wanted to out of it and I worry that somewhere along the line I began to lose the person I was when I started here. What happened to the girl who was involved in everything and who was constantly busy, always on the move. The girl so strong in her values and morals, who knew what she wanted from life. Where did that girl go? First year university is an eye opener. You move away from home and are completely on your own away from your parents for the first time. You learn so much about yourself. For the most part I am happy with the person I am becoming but there are things from my past that I feel are slipping away which I would like to hold onto. I miss being the girl who got the grades, who had it all. When did I lose that? I feel like meeting all these new people being away from my family and friends I somehow started to mould myself into this new person who I am not sure I am 100% comfortable being.
Things did not work out with the boy across the hall. People warn you about floorcest for a reason. I should have known better and yet I do not regret putting myself out there. Perhaps we really could of had something. Who knows. I have met so many amazing new people and hopefully some life long friends. I would not change one thing about my first year experience, expect perhaps being more involved in clubs within the university. But these are things that I can work on next year, not all is lost. My floor is an amazing group of people and changing even one person would make it completely different. I have 5 weeks left here and its not too late to pull up my socks and get the grades I know I am capable of. To have fun at the last few parties of the year and to just hang out, watch movies and laugh with my floormates. I am sad that this year is coming to an end, it is one I wish would last longer. This chapter of my life is just starting but man the pages turning fast.